Monday, September 9, 2013

The end

Well. After talking to S. It seems we are no longer TTC. He wants to wait a few months and try to make our relationship better. I made the decision on the spot to be done. I don't want to wait a few more  months. I don't want it to have taken us this long to get here. Don't get me wrong, I want our relationship to be great but not at the expense of quitting TTC and not giving C a sibling.

I am so disappointed. I honestly have no words to convey how I feel. Only tears.

I can't even put sentences together to help S understand why I am so disappointed. This is really not how I pictured my life would be. By any means. I am so happy we have C. Absolutely. I just wish he would have a sibling. And it's not going to be in the cards.

No more treatments. No more 'natural' trying. No nothing. I am considering getting back on birth control as well. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Anyways. This is probably going to be one of the last posts I write for a while. As well as probably not coming around very much on TB either.

Farewell my friends<3

10 comments:

  1. G, so sorry you're going through this. I hope you and S take the time you need to work things out. TTTC can really put a strain on even the strongest relationships. Hoping you guys can get through this and come out even stronger on the other side. We'll miss you, but take the time you need to take care of yourself. Feel free to PM me if you need someone to talk to.

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  2. I am so sorry that you have to make such a hard decision. I hope that you guys are able to work through this together. IF is so freaking hard :(

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  3. Oh Gonz. I am so sorry. I am in tears as I type this. Infertility is so hard and it's not fair. It should never be this difficult. I wish there was something I could say or do to help. I wish it didn't have to be this way, but I understand the need to call an end to something so painful. I know it has to be difficult for your husband as well. I wish I could give you big huge hugs and make all of this pain go away, but I know there isn't much that can take away the pain of infertility.
    If you ever want to talk, you know where to find me.

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  4. I am so sorry that you guys had to make this decision, Gonzol. I hope that you and your H are able to work through this hard time and come out better than ever. You will definitely be missed around TB - I want to thank you especially for always being so kind and supportive in the IF check-in. ::HUGS:: ~Milagros315

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  5. I am so sorry Gonz. IF freaking SUCKS and I am so sorry you had to make this decision. I wish you and YH the best. <3 ::HUGS::

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  6. <3 Sending hugs and love to you. I'm crying reading this...Hope you enjoy every minute in Vegas to relax and have some ME time.

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  7. ((g)) I'm so so sorry that you are at this point. IF sucks so hard. Grieving not having the family that you imagined sucks so hard. I hope you have a fabulous time in Vegas. Take care of yourself, and you know where to find me if you want to talk.

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  8. Gonz I am so so sorry. Sending you huge hugs.
    I hope you have a nice relaxing time in Vegas.

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  9. I am so sorry Gonz! Sending so many hugs and prayers.

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  10. I am so extremely sorry that you are in this space, I hope you and your H are able to work through this and land on some common ground. Wishing you all the best, be kind to yourself. <3 Spooks

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