Monday, July 29, 2013

Let's get it on

Positive OPK today. Woohoo! It was a super short surge too. As in. I got the positive around 330 and just tested again at 815 and it's negative. Hopefully tomorrow's temp goes up and I'll see CH's in a few days. If it does, we'll have hit O, -2 and -3. Not horrible timing, not awesome. Oh and maybe O+1 if H is up for it tomorrow. 

Fingers crossed tomorrow's temp is nice and high. And then let the waiting begin. 

Wednesday, July 24, 2013


I've been slacking. Haven't had too much to update on. So we'll just go through a quick recap.

We're on cycle 17. Doing an unmedicated cycle. Loosely charting and using OPK.

C will be 2 in two weeks and two days. Woah.

Which also means our anniversary is in 2 weeks. Dang.

I've been thinking about our journey TTC #2 a lot lately. And coming to the conclusion we may only be blessed with C. Which is completely good with us if that's the case. While it sucks that we may not be able to give him a sibling, he is the light of our life. Absolutely the best thing that has ever happened for us.  It does crush me to think we just might have one child.

I'm still debating if I want to try another IUI in September. Or just NTNP for an uncertain amount of time.

IUI #1 was a huge mindfuck. A roller coaster of craziness. I'm not sure I'm ready to go through that again. Maybe by September I will be, maybe I wont. One of those things that only time will tell.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Relinquish all control?

I thought I could give up my control and not chart/OPK. I'm beginning to think I can't do it.  I'm just not sure I can let go of the control it gives me. Le sigh. Maybe it wont be a 'break' cycle after all. Oh well.

Today's potty training has gone fairly well. We've had two accidents. One pee and one poop. I am so proud. He has been dry since his number two accident. Through nap time even. He has also been telling me majority of the time, the other part is me prompting him and him not saying no. So we head to the bathroom. I am seriously such a proud mama right now.

Monday, July 15, 2013

Mail time!

Gotta love getting mail! I got two awesome packages today. The first, from the amazing and crafty Sun! She made me a cute little clutch wallet! It is absolutely adorable! I love it so much. (Sorry for the order, I can't seem to change the order.) AND she also made the cutest freaking Gabba banner ever for C. He is absolutely in love with it. His little face LIT UP when I pulled it out of the packaging. I'm planning to hang it in his room and will use it at his birthday party! She is so awesome, such a great friend to make these for us. And they couldn't have come at a better time. Between the c/p and yesterday being my birthday. It was perfect timing for a pick me up!

The next box I got was some fabric. Isn't this the cutest fabric ever! I had originally ordered this for when I got my BFP to make C a "big bro" shirt. Obviously that isn't happening anytime soon. I think I'll just hold onto it for now and see what happens. I might try my hand at making him a quick faux pocket t shirt. 

Getting up to date

Just a short update.. Not much new is going on. I'm on CD4 after the chemical pregnancy. The stress that brought me has made me decide not to chart or use OPK this cycle. I'm hoping taking the break will give us a fresh start and less stress.

In other news. I'm beginning potty training for C today. It began this morning. So far it's not going horribly but we're still working on getting him to let me know he has to use the bathroom. We've had our share of accidents today, good thing I came prepared with 15+ pairs of underwear! On a good note, he stayed dry for his whole nap! So it's a start. I'm really hoping this doesn't take us too long. He's very good about using the toilet and staying pretty dry when we're not home. Our main thing is working on him telling me he needs to use the bathroom.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

It's over

I'm 99% sure it's over. Huge temp dive this morning. I am completely expecting a period today or tomorrow. I'm thinking this is another chemical pregnancy, if it was a true pregnancy.

After going through this huge roller coaster of a cycle, I think we're going to be NTNP for a little bit. Since I'm pretty familiar with my cycles now, I'll still know about when we should have sex and what not. But I don't think I'll be charting or using OPKs. I'm kind of to the point that I'm not sure we'll have a second child and I think I am coming to terms with this. Every effort we put in, we get knocked back. It just seems to be a waste of time when all our efforts aren't showing anything. It's just starting to numb me to the idea of having a second child.

Looking at my chart, I'm not entirely sure when I actually ovulated. If I remove the manual override for ovulation, today I'm 10dpo based on what FF detected. So, it's possible I'm 10 or 11 or 12 dpo. I'm not really sure.

Here's today's stick. And comparison from yesterday. Looks to be negative but there's a super faded shadow of a line. 

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Chronicles of a pee stick

So today has been a bit depressing. And it's only 8:15 in the morning. I took another test, to see. It's lighter than yesterday and we're back to having to tilt the screen to get the glare off. Not what I was expecting to happen this morning. I'm really questioning if I want to even bother going back in tomorrow for a redraw. I suppose if my temperature is still up tomorrow, I will.

After talking to the lovely Banker last night, I do have a little bit of hope. When I talked to the RE, he kept saying it's not for sure you're pregnant, but not for sure you're not pregnant; Your test shows low hcg levels.
What Banker so kindly explained to me, is that levels between 5-25iu hcg, is a somewhat grey area. Which could explain why he said low levels and that he can't say for sure. After that conversation, I got a little bit of my hope my back.

As for the different shades of lines I keep getting. I'm attributing it to each test is different and is going to pick up a different amount of hormone. At least I really hope this is the case.

And here's today's picture. Like I said, tilting of the screen will help.

And here they all are, in order. 

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

real lyfe?! *with an update

This all feels like my miscarriage from last year, just a little mixed up.. When I went in last year to confirm pregnancy, I did a urine test that in turn was negative. Mind you I had tested that morning and saw a positive. So we did a blood test, beta was 30. Went back two days later, beta was 17. I was miscarrying.
  This time it's a little backwards. The blood test was negative right off the bat while I had the positive at home. I am praying with everything in me this is real and this sticks. I never in a million years thought I might be reliving my miscarriage.

 I just got a call from the RE and from what I understand, they didn't do the right blood test. Instead of doing a quantative test, they only did the yes/no. So I have no idea what my levels are. And he says as of their test, I'm not pregnant. Sometimes I think my RE is a nut case b/c I know my trigger is out and once it's out, you can't get another positive test until there's hcg present. Ugh. So I'm going back on Thursday for another draw but I will keep testing to watch my lines.

Well. Todays test was darker. Like, you don't even have to tilt the screen. I went in for betas this morning and am waiting for the result. It's lunch time in the office so of course no one is answering phones. I just want my darn results!! Hopefully I'll also go back in on Thursday for a repeat draw to make sure it's doubling. I'm so barely pregnant that I am praying this sticks. So, here's the updated pee sticks and a picture of my chart. It's so pretty for once.

EDD is March 22, 2014. March is also when I got pregnant and had the miscarriage. Praying that this sticks.

Monday, July 8, 2013

truckin' along

Now that this is somewhat organized and up to date.. Still testing.. Still seeing a faint line in person.  Still playing the waiting game. 

Saturday, July 6, 2013

...added some sticks

Ok here is today's (july 7) picture. I did an edit on one of them to make it easier to see. Though you may still need to tilt the screen.

So, no progesterone supplement! Yay! That makes me a bit happier. And here's another pee stick picture. Guess I'm still waiting for it to get out of my system all the way. Thought it would be by this morning but there's still a faint line showing up.  I do have to tilt my screen to see, but in person it's not as hard.

Friday, July 5, 2013

daily pee stick dump; updated

Looks like trigger is just about out. I imagine I'll have a negative tomorrow morning. I'm waiting for the call from the clinic about my p4 and praying it's high enough I don't have to go on progesterone. I'll edit an update in later on when I get the call. Fingers crossed for good p4!

Just got the call and my p4 is 16.95 at 6 dpo this morning. From what I've read that's good enough on a medicated cycle. Hopefully I wont have to do the progesterone after all. 

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Pee sticks

Looks like my trigger is almost all the way out. You can barely see it in the picture.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013


Pretty much gone. It's incredibly faint today. Can barely see it in the picture. 

Tuesday, July 2, 2013


We had dinner at Benihana tonight. An early birthday day. Two weeks early. It was C's first time using chopsticks. Enjoy.

And another update on my pee sticks. 

Monday, July 1, 2013


Just a quick picture update. I threw together, as best I could, the trigger tests I have. I wish I had a better way of putting them all together but I just have my phone..

Obviously not the best quality.. But you get the idea. I'm gonna gave to try not cropping and maybe it'll work better..

Maybe this is a little better?

In other news... C has used his potty three times today so far. Woohoo!