Uncertainty

So.. I'm pretty sure I'm 6 or 7 DPO.  At least I think so from playing with my chart and comparing to previous cycles. My temp today shot up to 98 something. Comparing to old charts, there's a dip at the same time and the temps are pretty even w/ previous. (For comparison purposes I threw in an approx CL and O date.)

Not much else to update on really. I'm counting down the days until our Vegas trip. 10 more wake ups. I'm so excited about this.

Total confusion

I am so confused. I think I mentioned in the last post that there's a possibility I may have ovulated already. I said I wasn't going to temp but I couldn't help myself and I did the last two days. Now, I obviously know two days of temping says absolutely nothing. But. Knowing my pattern, it does say a little bit. My temp yesterday and today are in post O range. It is never that high pre O.

It makes me wonder if I may have ovulated around CD 14 or 15. Which would be crazy considering I don't typically O until CD 18 or 19. I know it's just a few days. But when we did our med cycle, even w/ meds at my first u/s to check on follies, they weren't large. If I remember, that u/s was on CD 12. So the fact that I may have O'ed on CD 14ish is huge. And could mean my body might actually be producing a good egg.

Obviously I have no idea for sure. I am slightly inclined to believe it though because my sex drive shot through the roof around CD 14. For you stalking pleasure.

Regrets

I completely regret not temping this cycle. I caved and did it this morning and my temp is up where my post O temps are. It's CD 16. What?! I have no idea what's going on. Man.

Not much to report otherwise.

No excuses

Man I've been slacking hard. That's what happens when life finally slows down I suppose.

As of right now, I am CD 12 and sick. Slowly getting closer to O. Slowly. Hopefully these next few days go by quick.

In other news. My mom and I have a Vegas trip planned for the beginning of Sept. I am so freaking excited. It'll be a 2 1/2 day trip. Honestly, I'm really looking forward to being off 'mom duties' for a little bit. I'll miss my Bug like no other, but it will be nice and honestly I think it'll let me relax enough that it will help me be a better mom when we come home. We don't have any big plans, laying by the pool, a nice dinner and show, walking on the stip. Nothing crazy. I'm hoping to maybe get some spa time in, but I was looking at prices and it's a little out of my comfort zone. We'll see.

What I didn't notice when booking this trip... It's right at the expected time for AF. Awesome right? I don't even care. I figure I'll test the morning before we leave and bring a test with me. And some Tampons. If AF shows, I'll enjoy drinking on the strip. If not, I'll enjoy being sober Sally and relaxing at the pool.

Blah

It's been a while. I don't have much of an update on anything. CD 6 or 7 or something... I'm not sure.

I don't have much to update about though. I've been having mixed feelings about continuing TTC or just be one and done.  I'm not sure I can put it into words or sentences yet.

We have most of the car related stuff done and over with. Thank goodness. We're waiting for the check to clear and then we'll be paying off our loan.  I can't wait for things to be done. Here's our new car and a few pictures of what we've been up to lately..

Keep on chuggin'

CD 1. Cycle 18. Ugh.

I knew it was too good to be true with a nice chart. I am determined to take this cycle off charting. I will turn my alarm off and just go with it. I know apprx when I ovulate and have a good idea on how our timing should look.. Hopefully I can actually do it this time.

If this cycle is another bust, we've got one more shot with IUI in October. After that, we're done. We're pushing closer and closer to a three year difference. I'm not sure what to think anymore.

Oh. Speaking of IUI and October. H is planning a weekend trip to Vegas to go to a concert with his friends. I looked at projected FW and the same time frame from our first medicated cycle to see how it would work out.. This trip is right at the same time. So there's a chance we wont even have a chance w/ IUI. Just adding to the stress I already feel.

18

Temp took a fall this morning. We're moving onto cycle 18 now. I'm taking the crib down. It's becoming more and more clear this isn't going to happen any time soon. I was sure this cycle was it. My chart looked great, we had pretty good timing.. Ugh.

The plan is one more unmedicated cycle. Then IUI #2. And if neither of those work. NTNP indefinitely. I'll stop charting and stop using OPKs.

I have some time to waste before C's party. I am so irritated though.. We had originally had apprx 25 people RSVP that they would be coming. As of this morning. 13 people will be there. I am so irritated about it. I hate when people cancel last minute. I bought a bunch of party favors and a ton of food in anticipation for all these people. Now we will be left with a ton of extra food and a bunch of party favors. Also the decorations.. I'm not even in the mood to put them up anymore. I still will because I know C will love it. But still.. *sigh*

Next year I wont even bother planning a party. We'll just have a family day.

In a wake up...

I'll have a 2 year old. What.


I can not believe I've had the privilege of being mommy to this amazing boy for two years now. He just amazes me every day.



In other news. I got the check for C's car seat today. I'll be ordering the new soon. Yay!

The damage inspector is going to do another look at the car and see if there is anything else that can be marked down to help get us the amount back we want. They were pretty close to our idea with the first estimate. Hopefully we can get there on the second.

Hopefully we'll have a better update tomorrow. And C's party goes great. Wah!

Stress to the max

So... For the most part we've got this whole car thing worked out. We're still waiting the final evaluation results.

We got a voicemail from the inspector and he pretty much said he can deem it total or if we absolutely want, it could be fixed. We called back twice but apparently he doesn't answer. So we've been playing phone tag. Hopefully he gets back to us in the morning.

S and I discussed what we want to do about the car.. If I'm being honest... I want it totaled. I do not feel safe putting C in the car when the airbags deployed, on his side. If it were just S and I.. Eh, no biggie. But to put my son in it knowing the damage and what not. It makes me feel very uneasy.

S is on the fence. He understands why I don't want to have it fixed. But he is on the fence because of the financial aspect and we wont have to worry about another car. While I totally understand this, it makes my stomach turn.

We have a rental for now. So at least we are still able to get around.


On another note. Tomorrow is our anniversary. 3 years. Wow.

We ate lunch/dinner at Brazen BBQ. It is delicious bbq food. I had the Signature BBQ Sandwich with Brisket. S had the Smokehouse Salad. It was absolutely amazing. I love this place.

I have some last minute organizing for C's party on Friday. I can't believe his birthday is almost here. Where has my baby gone?!

There has to be light at the end of the tunnel

This morning has been horrible. Let's start with what's going on before this morning..

C's party is next week. Our anniversary is next week. ILs are coming down next weekend. Getting the house in order. Hoping to get pregnant anyfuckingday now. C is well into the terrible twos. I got into a fender bender earlier this week.

So.. That's what's been going on. Now.. This morning.

I woke up at 3 am from a bad dream. Well, good dream turned bad. Here's what happened:

I was feeling pulled to taking a pregnancy test, so I did. Two lines. I'm pregnant! Great news. I go down stairs to talk to S and tell him. We're sitting on the living room floor w/ C just hanging out. Our security alarm has a chime on it, so when a door opens, it beeps. It beeps. We're all sitting together, so that means someone else opens it. 
In comes some guy named Sweeny. (Mind you, I've never seen Sweeny Todd). He comes in and I start yelling at S to do something. He just sits on his phone like it's no big deal. Sweeny then starts to try to beat S up. Jumps on top of him and starts wailing on him. I'm freaking out while trying to keep C calm. 
The only thing I have to try to defend us.. A TV remote. So I start chucking it at his head.. Nothing happens. He just keeps going.

The dream suddenly ends and I'm breathing incredibly heavily. I texted S, assuming he had left for work; "Did you close the garage???" No answer. "????" No answer. "???" No answer. I call his phone to get him to look at the screen and see he has messages. I hear foot steps coming up our stairs. I quieted my breathing and was ready to fight.

It's S. "Why are you asking if I closed the garage?"
"I had a bad dream."
"I'll make sure to close it when I leave."

I go back to sleep.

23 minutes later. My phone starts ringing. It's S. I'm thinking he left the garage open.

"I was in an accident."

My heart dropped. He tells me he's okay but our truck is trashed. Completely trashed. He was T-boned.   Hit on the side with C's car seat. Air bags deployed. Car died.

As he's explaining to me, half awake, what happened. I tell him send me a picture and I'll call you when we get up to finish talking.

I called him back after C woke up to actually understand what he was saying. 

He was on his way to work, a one lane road for about a half mile from our house. It opened up to two lanes and he continued in the left lane. An older model truck in front of him. They turn on their left blinker, but proceed into the right lane. S sees this and just assumes they hit it the wrong way. 

Wrong. They were making an illegal U turn on a double yellow street. Didn't slow down, apparently didn't look. S tried to swerve out of the way. Too late. T-bone right into him. They didn't stop once they made contact. The driver continued to finish his U turn. They pushed our large SUV all the way around to the other side of the street.  On top of that, S said it looked they were going to run. Luckily they didn't. 

PD was called, our car towed, car seat is no good, S got a ride into work from PD. Supposedly the kid driving, was a DD and from the looks of it, a brand new driver. 

Spoke with our insurance and we're going to pursue having their insurance cover all costs. According to our insurance, our car is totaled. From what I understand, as long as their insurance claims the same for our damages, they will pay us up front for the cost of the car plus C's seat. As well as pay for a rental for us as this was our only vehicle. S should be on the phone right now with them. 

Soon as I hear from S, I'll drop an update. We've had this car for barely a month. 

Wham bam, thank you ma'am

Bam! Here goes nothing for another 2ww. Got my CH's this morning. Yay! Timing wasn't bad, -4, -3, -1 and O. I still have no idea what was going on in the beginning of the cycle. My temps were a mess. Hopefully things smooth over for the next week and a half.